中外最精彩的40条神回复 快来看看有没有你的心头好？

在网上给大家搜罗了一些最精彩的神回复，内容遍及知乎、微博、Buzzfeed 等等等等，一起来看看。

01

中国哪里的姑娘最漂亮？

Where can you find the most beautiful girls in China?

“

微信朋友圈

WeChat Moments

”

02

请给出一句很有内涵的诗句

Please name a thought-provoking sentence from a poem.

“

一懒众衫小

Once lazy, all your clothes get smaller.

”

03

如何理解“穷不是一种状态”？

What"s the meaning of "poverty is not a certain situation"?

“

穷是一种常态

It"s the common situation.

”

04

问世上不会游泳的动物是？

What animals on earth can not swim?

“

媳妇和妈

Your wife and your mother.

”

05

如果被车撞飞10米远，

爬起来之后说什么最帅？

What is the coolest thing to say after you got hit by a car and managed to stand up again?

“

下一辆

Next!

”

06

妈，我是你的什么？

Mother, what am I to you?

“

妈的智障

My karma.

”

07

为什么前女友还会一直关注我呢？

What could be the reason that my ex still follows me on social networks?

“

知道你过得不好我也就放心了

Knowing that you still mess everything up makes my day.

”

08

为什么打群架的时候

普遍会脱掉上衣？

Why do people usually take off their clothes when starting a gang fight?

“

假如脱掉裤子的话

总觉得有哪里不对，气氛怪怪的

Because it would be weird to take off your pants.

”

09

怎么反驳“你行你上啊”的逻辑？

How should I respond to "You can you up"?

“

我评论个鸡蛋不好吃，还得自己下个蛋啊？

So I need to lay an egg to criticize an egg"s flavor?

”

10

如何一个月减肥40斤？

By what means can I lose 20 kilograms in a month?

“

截肢

Amputation.

”

11

怎样含蓄地表达

“我已经被收买了”

How can I subtly suggest that I"ve been compromised?

“

我说句公道话……

Let me say this impartially...

”

12

为什么你长痘痘？

Why do you have pimples?

“

因为我可爱得冒泡

Because I"m just bubble-bubbly cute.

”

13

打雷的时候关窗户有用吗？

Does it work to close the window when it"s thundering outside?

“

没用的，我试过了

关了窗雷一样在打

No, it won"t. I"ve tried.

It was still thundering outside after I closed the window.

”

14

你见过哪些概率极小极小的事件？

What extremly-small-probability event have you witnessed?

“

20道完形填空，全错

Done a cloze test of 20 questions

with 0 answer right.

”

15

妹子还书的时候夹了一张面巾纸

什么意思？

What does a girl mean when she return your book but with a facial tissue in it?

“

说明你对人家有意思

This means you are paying extra attention to her.

”

16

两千元人民币，想出国穷游

可以去哪些国家？

To which country can I do a budget travel with 2,000 RMB?

“

秦鲁齐蜀韩郑魏楚赵燕吴等等...

For example,

all the ancient countries that used to be China.

”

17

想养一只鹦鹉

教它说一些什么话好？

I wanna keep a parrot as pet. What would be cool to teach it to say?

“

救命，我被变成鹦鹉了！

Help!

They"ve turned me into a parrot!

”

18

呆萌和脑残的界限是？

What is the boundry between "clumsy" and "stupid"?

“

和

the and

”

19

为什么女生有体香，而男生没有？

Why do women give out sweet scent but men don"t?

“

化妆品腌入味了

The makeup is fermenting.

”

20

男生说什么话

女生会觉得很大气？

What would be manly for a man to say in front of a girl?

“

买

I"ll pay.

”

21

热恋是一种怎样的体验？

How does it feel to love somebody insanely?

“

两个长得像猪一样的人

还怕对方被抢走了。。

Two people who are on no aspect attractive worry about each other being stolen by someone else.

”

22

有什么赞扬让你比较尴尬？

Is there any compliment that makes you awkward?

“

人不可貌相啊

We really cannot judge a book by its cover, can we?

”

23

你怎么一个人逛街啊？

Why are you shopping all by yourself?

“

半个人逛街我怕吓着你

I fear it would scare you to death if I were shopping all by no one.

”

24

单身两年以上是什么体验？

How does it feel to be single for more than 2 years?

“

单身22年

不知道你说的是哪两年？

I"ve been single for 22 years.

Which 2 years are you suggesting?

”

25

地球外面那一层叫什么？

How do you call the outside layer of Earth?

“

香飘飘奶茶

Xiang Piao Piao milk tea.

”

26

要是在古代

姐的颜值能撑起整个青楼

Back in the ancient times, a face like mine can hold a whole brothel.

“

你是说你长得像柱子吗？

You mean you look like a pillar?

”

27

很高兴为你服务

I"m glad to be at your service.

“

你高兴得太早了

You"ll find out you got glad too fast.

”

28

北冥有鱼，其名为鲲

Once in the northern sea, there was a fish and people called it Kun.

“

众人食之，完

And people ate it.

The end.

”

29

妈，我能看电视吗？

Mom, can I watch the television?

“

当然可以啊，只要不打开就行

Of course you can, as long as it"s turned off.

”

30

你得揣摩出题人的意图

You need to understand why they set this question in the first place.

“

他想我死

They want me dead.

”

31

你知道吗？你最终会变成你讨厌的人

You know what? You eventually become someone you loathe.

“

借你吉言，我讨厌有钱人

Thanks, I loathe people who are rich.

”

32

国庆去北京旅游有什么好建议吗？

Gonna be traveling in Beijing during the National Day vacation. Any suggestion?

“

别去

Don"t go.

”

33

等我瘦了就回来找你

I"ll come back for you when I get slim.

“

如果你不想见我，其实可以直说

You can level with me if you don"t want to see me.

”

34

有史以来最伟大的虚构人物是谁？

Who is the greatest fictional character in history?

“

别人家的小朋友

Someone else"s child.

”

35

你看看别人家的男朋友

都是吃女朋友吃剩下的饭！！！

Look at other girls" boyfriends. They eat their grilfriends" leftover.

“

那你倒是给我剩点啊

Sounds as if you ever left any over.

”

36

为什么秀恩爱通常选择在中午？

Why do people always show off their relationships at noon?

“

因为早晚会有报应

Because sooner or later karma will come to them.

”

37

请用一个词来形容你的男朋友

Please use one word to describe your boyfriend.

“

哪？

Where?

”

38

被人追了怎么拒绝？

How do I successfully reject someone who is pursuing me?

“

接地卸妆

Remove your makeup,right now, right there.

”

39

为了让你好好学习，父母都给过你什么？

What did your parents give you to make you study harder?

“

这张脸

This face.

”

40

参观一个世界奇观时

你最想了解哪些信息？

What do you want to know the most when you visit a World Wonder?

“

这附近有什么好吃的吗？

What can I find to eat around there?

”

41

我要如何才能显得很高冷？

How can I look high-end and cool?

“

搬去喜马拉雅

Move to the Himalayas.

”

42

为什么有的男生追女生追到一半不追了？

Why do some boys give up half-way pursuing a girl?

“

你倒是给个进度条啊

Why don"t you display a progress bar?

”

43

为什么在洗完澡之后

有些人会觉得自己变漂亮了？

Why do some people find themselves prettier after they take a shower?

“

脑子进水了

The brain has water damage.

”

话说，

你心中最精彩的神回复有上榜吗？

如果没有的话，你的心头好是什么？

快来留言区和大家分享一下吧。

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